It is amazing how difficult it is for many of us to say what we feel. Sure, it may come easy for some outgoing souls who love expressing themselves. But I find that for myself, and a majority of people I counsel, expressing ourselves is difficult. Yet, feelings left unsaid are a major contributor to anxiety and depression.
That is why improving emotional expression is one of the counseling goals I often suggest to counselees. Here are two habits I help people practice.
First, stop and think about what you are feeling. Make time to associate specific emotion words to things going on in your life. For instance, I feel worried when going through a global pandemic. Or I feel proud when my toddler knows his letters. I know this seems obvious, but it is amazing how many of us don’t stop to think about this.
Second, when telling someone else a story about something that occurred, do not simply recount the narrative. Tell your listeners what you felt about what happened. Many of us assume others know how we feel when we tell them things. But they may not. Don’t leave it unsaid and assume they know!
Expressing our feelings is hard but it helps us be more self-aware and connected to others. It also helps us live out how God created us to be, people made in His image. Think about how many times God describes His emotions through His words to us, the Bible.
A great passage in the Bible is Exodus 34:6-7a because it showcases the variety of emotions God has as he relates to people. “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished…”.
Emotional expression is sometimes difficult but an important part of being who we were created to be. Try it more!
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