By Layla Zickefoose
Most of us have regular contact with children in some way, whether we are parents, family members, pastors, or friends. It is very likely that some of those children are walking through some emotional and mental struggles. The number of children struggling emotionally and mentally was already high before the pandemic. In the post-pandemic years, those numbers have just blown up.
A lot of times children who come to counseling feel embarrassed to be there and show up just because their parents insist. Shame makes many children shut down during counseling, making it difficult for them to get the care they need. For our newsletter this month, I wanted to share three ways to encourage struggling children to productively accept counsel from others.
First, it is helpful to remind children that God created all of us to function best when we have counsel from others. God did not create us to be alone, and getting advice is a healthy thing to do. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” This does not always mean that children need to get professional counseling. I tell parents that professional counsel may be necessary or helpful if their struggles are impacting their safety or functioning. But whether the counsel is from a parent, pastor, friend, or professional counselor, it is helpful for children to view it as a way God provides wisdom, care, and healing.
Second, encouraging open conversations and normalizing emotional expression can help children know how to ask for and benefit from counseling when they need it. Verbally expressing your own emotions, and kindly encouraging children to explain and elaborate on their feelings (even nonverbal ones), are some ways to do this regularly.
Finally, it is a beautiful goal to help children think about weaknesses and struggles in ways that strengthen their dependence on Jesus Christ, our Wonderful Counselor. Experiencing weakness can feel shameful and keep us from getting help. But as the apostle Paul wrote in the Bible, times of weakness are often when God’s power is most clearly at work in our lives (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Accepting and praising God for this truth can help all of us benefit more from the counsel of those around us.
For more specific resources on helping children with particular struggles, visit the Maranatha Family Counseling Facebook page and Instagram this month.
