There is nothing like trying to give a presentation when all you feel like doing is crying and running away. But I often have a hard time experiencing public speaking any other way. A few years ago I tried to fix my fear by standing in front of a mirror and rehearsing. But just saying the presentation out loud sent me into a panic. I tried to ignore my anxiety and focus on practicing. It really didn’t help. I bombed the whole thing the next day. My voice and hands shook the entire time. I was embarrassed, but not surprised. Anxiety when talking with others was normal for me. Talking to dozens of people at once is normally just torture.
Counselors are taught to keep personal stories limited in their sessions, but I sometimes tell this one. Some clients laugh and point out that I literally talk to people every day for a living. I laugh with them and admit that I still get nervous during interactions sometimes. But I chose to recount the horrible memory and even laugh at it to express that fear of others is a common problem, for me and others. I also want them to know about some of the tools that offer freedom from that fear.
One of the biggest tools I use for believers of Jesus Christ is reminders throughout scripture that we do all for God’s glory and not ours. If it’s not about people praising us, the pressure really comes off. If only we could remember that! I Corinthians 10:31 states that whatever we do, we should “do all for the glory of God.”
I also recommend the book When People Are Big and God are Small. Author Ed Welch challenges fear of man by inviting readers to consider how their view of God affect their interactions with others. Welch challenges readers who are fearful of others to recognize we are paralyzed in interactions because we fail to understand who God is. He suggests that as we become more aware of the love and reign of God in our lives, we can love people more and care less what they think. We can have conversations without excessively worrying because we are secure in God’s thoughts of us.
There are many other great tools out there to tackle fear of others. Stay tuned! Needless to say, I don’t recommend standing in front of a mirror panicking!
